Dear Baby Bundle,
I can already see you crinkling your nose at me, thinking why on earth I would call you that. But the first time I saw you wrapped tightly, that’s the only thing I could think of. I remember when my aunt transferred you into my arms, you didn’t even wake up to look at me. I, on the other hand, couldn’t look away. I had of course seen your pictures before I met the twenty-eight-day-old you in person. But I fell in love with you a week later when holding you safely sleeping in my arms, I closed me eyes. I could feel my arms growing heavy, but there was a peace in my heart I just wasn’t ready to relinquish. But then I had to leave to go back to school, and I thought I was leaving something so precious behind.
The next time I saw you again, you were a one and a half year old boy with a mission. You wanted to walk everywhere, hold the world on the tips of your finger. Your eyes were wide, taking the world in, and you ran as if the world wouldn’t wait for you to grow up. I loved seeing you run – I have never seen kids run on tiptoes. But you woke up every day and showed me something new. The last time you were just a baby. But now I can totally see the baby boy in you. You fearless, fearless little guy. I loved hearing you laugh. Oh, how you would laugh when I twirled and tickled you. I tried to hold onto you, but you were never the one to sit quietly on my lap. In fact the only time I got to hold you was when you woke up from sleep and was groggy. But as soon as your grogginess left, you were back on your feet, chasing anything and everything and most often nothing at all.
In the few weeks I was with you, I gave up trying to take a partially decent picture of the both of us. I have started making videos instead. I hope when I go back, these would make me laugh. I know they are not enough. Nothing can capture your vivacity, or mischievousness or your perfect smile. On a side note, though, I do love watching you cry. You have actual tears! And beautiful eyelashes. Oh my baby brother, you wait. There would be jealous girls around the world when they would look at your long lashes. My aunt laughs when I say that, but I am quite serious.
Although I have been teaching you to say SaSa or Sabu, the closest you have come to call me is nothing. I don’t think you even know your own name. I am trying to teach that to you as well. The last part is not going as smoothly as I would like. The only thing you love to say is your ABCs. I bet you would be the son my aunt would boast of. Has anyone ever seen a kid who loves alphabet? In fact the only way to feed you is to play the ABC song or Super Why. I am learning to zone out the episodes. As much as I love you, there’s no way I am subconsciously memorizing Super Why dialogues.
My mother tells me I am fascinated by every mundane thing you do because you are the first baby I have seen grow up. May be she is right, may be not. All I know is, Bundle, you are this perfect package of a baby and I love you. I am writing this in hopes that someday you will be old enough to read this and know what a special baby you are in my life. But I am also writing this to offer you some of my observations.
First I want you know, the life you live is a privileged one. Do not begrudge or even take this life for granted. Embrace the opportunities you have, but remember Baby Bundle to be considerate of those who do not share your fortune. Be aware of the world, the society you live in and be a participant to bring positive changes. Always know what you stand for and what you stand against. Bundle, its easy to raise your voice or fists, but first learn to raise yourself from the constrictions your own thoughts. Learn to open your mind to possibilities and risks. All the best things in life come from taking a leap. Remember, don’t judge people for there is so much you don’t know and don’t ever attach labels. People are so much more than just mere labels. Always Bundle, talk to little girls with care and young ladies with respect. Everyone you meet will tell you to not carry your heart on your sleeves, but don’t listen to them baby brother of mine. Rather be trusting, giving than callous and cold. Never be domineering. Apologize when you are wrong, apologize for the wrongs done to others around you. You won’t go wrong with apologies; they do not make you weak. Love with all your heart Bundle, and do everything you do with passion. Be sensitive. Be realistic. Don’t let the world step on you and don’t step on others on your way to grasp power. Be the kind of boy, this sister of yours can be proud to raise.
I will always love you,
Your affectionate sister.
Amar Shobdo 