When I come to you, broken

Stop.

I know how that goes.

I know how that ends.

I have written that story a thousand times

I have spoken those same words again and again.

Stop.

I don’t need you to tell me I am strong.

I know where I have been,

I know all that I have done.

I know strength brought me here.

I don’t need you to tell me how much more I can take.

I know better than anyone,

How much I can grasp and mould.

So you can stop.

I don’t need to hear reassurances.

Those words have been my mantra.

I don’t need you to whisper them back at me.

When I need it most, I know where to find it.

Stop.

I know what distance will do.

I know how to forget.

I am a pro at missing people.

I have had years of experience –

Years to teach myself how to convince myself

Lost people don’t come back.

Stop.

I have made peace with death.

But I will not make peace with the dead.

If my anger, my questions fade away,

Will I not lose the last piece of them?

Don’t,

Tell me, to forgive and forget.

You don’t know how I have expanded my heart

To hold all my hurt.

 

When I come to you, broken.

Please don’t be inclined to put me back together.

You won’t know how I build myself,

So you will probably build me wrong.

And I will have to undo all your hard work.

When I come to you, broken,

I Just want you to know –

That’s how comfortable I feel to fall apart in front of you.

I trust you won’t take a piece of my soul

For your own benefit.

I trust you won’t use my broken shards

To wound me.

I trust you to see me at my worst.

Stop.

I don’t need your pity.

I don’t need empty words.

I don’t even need you to hold me.

When I come to you, broken

Just let me be broken for a while.

All I need is a respite, a little breather.

All I need is a stopping place.

I will pick after myself,

So just find me a place to remain shattered until I am ready.

When I come to you, broken

Show me your brokenness too.

Tell me of the places you’ve been.

Tell me what you have had to do.

Tell me how you’ve been strong

And how you wish you didn’t have to be.

Stop.

I don’t need you to be strong for me.

I am not going to use your strength to stand.

When I come to you, broken,

I am not trying to break you as well.

Know,

I have never let myself down.

I am my own champion,

I am my own warrior.

When I come to you, broken,

I just need to take off my armour,

Lift the weight off my shoulder, for a while.

And there is no one I would trust more than you,

To see me with my defenses down.